Saturday, April 23, 2011

Mummy Guilt

Motherhood is amazing, no two days are the same.......hard for me the control freak, kids teach you something new everyday, they do something new everyday, When you think you got it all aorted you are thrown a curve ball, but the main thing I'm finding is that i feel guilty alot as a mum.

For example, Freddy has been quite poorly and I have taken that on board as my fault, as I write that I know it sounds stupid but still could it have been prevented? Did he get sick from going swimming in a cool pool? Did he pick it up from daycare? (probably! he goes one day a week but more than likely he will pick up all sorts) am I feeding him a good enough diet to help him stay strong? I could go on and on.

Another example......last night I was home alone with the two babies, Freddy got upset and was more than likely in a bit of pain, so I was trying to resettle him and Archie started crying, it was feed time.
I basically had to run between the two of them trying to make right for both, neither of whom understood why mummy kept running away into another room, my heart was wrenching for the other bub whom I wasnt with at that moment, I felt guilty.

When I was working And I couldn't attend some of the school events etc I felt guilty then.

Any mums out there, do you get the attack of the guilts for whatever reason?


Magda said...


Whilst we strive to do the best for and by our kids we are not superhuman perfect beings and there will be times when we fall short.

Its the big picture stuff that matters, I believe. If you get it right 8 or 9 times out of 10 then you're on a winning streak.


The Stark's said...

Hey Shar

One of the things I've had to come to terms with and accept is that I'm not one of those mothers that devotes her life to her children and running around for and after them. I dislike doing school canteen, reading and all that jazz. For a LONG time I felt guilty for it. Of course, I LOVE my children more than anything but I was not put on this Earth to not have a life myself, if you understand what I'm saying. I have learnt that to be a GOOD mother is to simply BE there. For them and with them but that doesn't mean 100%. I still need me time which in turn makes me a better mother anyway.

You are doing a wonderful job and you need to tell yourself this and believe it. I bet if you asked your kids they say, "you're the best mum in the whole wide world."

Take care of you too. xxx

Bug's Mumma said...

I get mummy guilt every single day. Still trying to work on that one, but I do like how Magda put it.

I do think that society puts a lot of pressure on mums to be perfect and present a perfect front 24/7, whether they are working mums or stay at home mums (and just for the record, whether you are a working mum or stay at home mum, its just as hard a job as each other) and when you dont 'live up' to the perceived expectations, that's when the guilt comes sliding in.

I take my hat off to you Shar. Having two kids under 13 months is a massive job in itself, let alone having two older kids as well.


Michelle said...

God, yes! I am constantly suffering from mummy guilt! Definitely a work in progress.