Since the ALL Females Comp last year I have had some (lots!!) 'moments', I went back to my old blog and found this post, it is again relevant to my journey since comp.
The reason I'm posting it?.......to acknowledge that I have again repeated revisited some bad habits, employed some destructive behaviours... BUT, I again have emerged the other side, this time, in the words of Lia - I have different tools in my toolbox.
I have a definite plan in place for after comp this time.
I am totally aiming and heading for a lifestyle of health and happiness as a pose to aiming for one goal, one date, one moment all the time. There will be goals but long term as well as short term.
I am using the information that has become clear through my NLP and Mind coaching sessions to assist me in changing my beliefs and behaviours, therefore not travelling the path I have done before over and over.
The definition of insanity:
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein, (attributed)US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)
OLD POST -
' - there are days I questioned whether I should should give it all up and stay overweight,
- there were days I just 'couldn't be bothered',
- there were days I got mad with how society could judge 'fat' people and just wanted everyone to be fat,
- there were days I would catch people judge me for how I looked (I was 10kg overweight but my profession does not sympathise whatever the amount)
- there were days 'I didn't believe I could'
- there were days I felt like the crappiest mum because I was so consumed by me and how I felt
There were numerous other feelings, too many to list.
I spent all year 'fighting' until i made a decision, same as all the other decisions this year, to eat clean, exercise and finally put all the demons to rest, but, the difference this time was.....
I HAD TO TRULY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT , nothing can take your belief away, not a single person, not a piece of food, you have to believe that you can reach your end goals, if something sways you, the belief has to be there to get you back on track, if something 'ruins' your plan for the week, you have to have the belief that this won't ruin the rest of the week, you have to believe you are in control.'
I believe in me, I believe I am worthy, I am not doing this for anyone but myself this time, I'm not trying to prove anything, I am so over trying to please people that aren't important to me, I will not feel small and unworthy.
I feel truly proud of what I have achieved in the last 3 weeks, I am also proud that the path I have travelled has taught me alot and as long as I use the information wisely I will continue to grow.
Thanks for listening.
PS - Weekly update on right :)