Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Honesty, Ear Bashing and Re-focusing.......

Honesty - always said I would be honest with my journey so here it is.

Saturday saw me start strong and was feeling better after just one day of totally clean eating, then comes Sunday, eat clean all day until evening and then starts the little voice, lets call her BB = binging bitch! 'oh go on have some tea with the kids, eat some peanut butter and cheese and crackers, you've still got 9 weeks 6 days left'

So I go have a sit down, tell BB to piss off, she comes back at me telling me she knows I'm gonna give in etc etc, and guess what - I bloody do.

So then I get into the guilt thing but re-assure myself that tomorrows a new day and all will be well. Except Monday night comes and I decide to make double choc fudge brownies with the kids, I mean as if choc fudge brownies aren't enough, lets do the freaking double choc ones.
Anyway say no more, another round with BB and I have a few brownies.

Ear bashing (probably the wrong word - STRONG ENCOURAGEMENT? )
I text Di today, racked with guilt that I haven't told her, feeling bloaty and fat and she says to call her after my class. I do so and the conversation was very encouraging and I start to feel positive, she then asks me how long until my Les Mills presentation, I state 2 and a half weeks but I'm thinking I may not pursue the whole thing...........................well, I will leave the response I got to your imagination, Di having been in regular contact with me now since April knows how much I want to do this and how much my teaching means to me. To say the least I was told there is no way I was giving that up just because of a few days of BB fights.

So after some 'strong encouragement' Di also told to revisit my NLP that I had been through earlier in the year, this was so important to be reminded of. I also got a super duper text from Di, I felt my energy rise and desire to succeed return.

My issue is NOT about food it is about belief in myself and re-programming old habits/issues and beliefs I have about myself and my self worth. Been back through this a little already and feel much more in control, will also do some of the visualization and light trance work before bed.

A positive to be found in this is I have consistently trained so therefore have made great leaps and not gone to my all or nothing with food and training having to be 100% or not at all.
Will be focusing in on my NLP and visualization.

Focusing on the belief in me and not associating this as an issue with food and after comp issues.
I am worth it and I can continue my journey, especially my Les Mills journey :)

Must try and log daily stuff here, said I would and didn't get around to it.
Back soon
Shar x

Di - luv ya and Thanks again.


Anonymous said...

amen sister if u see my blog youll see whats been happening with me in that department too (bb)

Dianna Broeren said...

Luv you to Beautiful Girl! You bring a tear to my eye....


Jane said...

Stay strong Shar, you'll be fantastic.

Combat Girl said...

UM I don't think so!!!!!! You are too strong to give up on your dream of being a Les Mills Trainer!!!!!

Stay focused sweetie, call on whoever you need to for support, we are all here for you, we are here to hold your hand when you are about to trip or fall. We will NOT LET YOU FALL SHAR!!!!!!!

I wish I was there to cheer you on when you stepped on that stage!! When is it exactly?? I could use a holiday lol!! You know me any excuse to get out of here!!


LizN said...

No way should you give up on your dream of becoming a Les Mills trainer. Glad you are getting that fantastic support and friendship from Di, she's a gem :)

Anonymous said...

Oh Shar -i had BB in my ear on the weekend too and caved, my thinking was "i havent eaten all week due to being sick, gee a packet of dark m & m's wont hurt" FRICKEN KILL THE BB!!!!!! :)

You will be fine sweetheart - you have fant-abulous support honey x

Splice said...

I loved reading this post Shar. We all have a BB living within us, we need to find away to kill her lol.
You sound very positive and really focused and what you want to do so don't let anything get in the way of that.