Monday, January 19, 2009

For a while................

Posting with Honesty and off loading-
I have been feeling very angry, I'm feeling very agitated, a bit unsettled, feeling very unsure with regards to my purpose in life.
So I'm gonna have a moment, a little rant,......at myself......... then I'm gonna shut the f*^k up and do this thang.

For a while now...... I've been noticing I have become quite negative (some of this is coming from being around constantly negative people), wanting perfection, wanting this, wanting that, finding excuses for not getting it, waiting to do stuff.
Solution - TIME TO REMOVE NEGATIVE PEOPLE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, NOT EXPECT PERFECTION, PERFECTION IS NOT REALITY, NOT GIVE UP AND IF I WANT IT THAT BAD, JUST DO IT.

For a while now...... I have been feeling that people judge way too much, feeling that everyone else knows better, worrying about what people think of me as a person, me as a physical........me.
Solution - TIME TO ONLY WORRY ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT MATTER, PEOPLE I VALUE, TIME TO ASK THE PEOPLE THAT JUDGE TO POLITELY P#SS OFF (maybe just ignore them)

For a while now....... things have been placed on my path that are offering me fantastic opportunities, my path has been ever changing for the better so I can grow, learn and develop YET I am constantly sabotaging myself, doubting myself, not believing I'm worthy of all this wonderfulness.
Solution - TIME TO BELIEVE, TIME TO ACCEPT THE DIRECTION AND WALK WITH IT, NOT AGAINST IT.

For a while now.......I have a tug of war happening in my heart. Although I have no desire to live in the UK and I love Australia, I ache daily to be close to my mum, step dad, sister, niece and nan, I don't express this alot as I don't want to upset the kids and we made the choice to move but it hurts so bad some days.
Solution - TIME TO CALL HOME MORE, WORK SOME EXTRA CLASSES TO PAY AN AIRFARE A YEAR TO SEE THEM MORE REGULARLY, TIME TO NOT BOTTLE IT UP.

For a while now....... I have been abusing my body, mind and therefore my spirit. Criticising every cell, playing games with my health.
Solution - TIME TO......... JUST BE
____________________________________________

Paul's Path has been changing a little recently to become one of being more spiritually aware, which is really quite a turn around if you had known him before.
So I have been reading a few articles, listening to some downloads that Paul has and Paul and I watched a film last night called - ''AMBITION TO MEANING - Finding your life's purpose'' and it was really good.

One line stood out to me and has really landed today as I keep re-reading it...........
''just be done,
everything you need will be there for you,
just stop interfering with your own life''

I have turned myself, my situation (not just talking physical here people), my path around so many times, its time to practice everything I have learnt during those times and ..........just be.

My pledge to myself - wake up tomorrow living the positive, having (magically whilst I sleep!) released all my anger, agitation and negativity.
Here's to the fact that tomorrow is a new day, I am extremely lucky to be healthy and have all that I do. Thanks for listening.

SEE YA TOMORROW!!!! CAN'T WAIT!!
Shar x

5 comments:

Trudi said...

Hi Shar,
I think it comes with the territory being a pt. You consistently help people achieve their goals and as YOU have such a strong determination to succeed, when they start wanting too much of that slice and they dont acieve it, they then become a bit negative which is something we wear. You give and give, sometimes when you have little to spare, but you manage to get through. That's because you are POSITIVE. You do this each day, so its not the fact that you are negative, just a tad worn out by the reactions of your clients. I'd had enough of it last year. So my plan of attack...1 teach who and what you want to. Let them get the benefits of your knowledge, not those who cant also help themselves. 2 take a day off every other week. Yep, do hair, jobs, kids stuff, read a book and NO WORK. 3 invest in friends who make you feel good about yourself. Shift the others aside. Harsh, but you live your life honestly, so start doing it. Right behind ya girl!! Trudsx

LizN said...

Shar, I hope you're having a really good one today!
Hugs
Liz N

Frankie said...

Well said Trudi.

You're not negative Shar..at least it doesn't come across that way to me. You've always got something worth saying on here.

Frankie

RaeC said...

AWESOME!! Just like you :) xxx

Lia Halsall said...

WOW Shar, what can I say other than you have inspired me and my post today. Your honesty is refreshing and it's really made me think about myself. Thanks for sharing this, I for one really appreciate it as it's helped me help myself. :o) xxx