Posting with Honesty and off loading-
I have been feeling very angry, I'm feeling very agitated, a bit unsettled, feeling very unsure with regards to my purpose in life.
So I'm gonna have a moment, a little rant,......at myself......... then I'm gonna shut the f*^k up and do this thang.
For a while now...... I've been noticing I have become quite negative (some of this is coming from being around constantly negative people), wanting perfection, wanting this, wanting that, finding excuses for not getting it, waiting to do stuff.
Solution - TIME TO REMOVE NEGATIVE PEOPLE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, NOT EXPECT PERFECTION, PERFECTION IS NOT REALITY, NOT GIVE UP AND IF I WANT IT THAT BAD, JUST DO IT.
For a while now...... I have been feeling that people judge way too much, feeling that everyone else knows better, worrying about what people think of me as a person, me as a physical........me.
Solution - TIME TO ONLY WORRY ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT MATTER, PEOPLE I VALUE, TIME TO ASK THE PEOPLE THAT JUDGE TO POLITELY P#SS OFF (maybe just ignore them)
For a while now....... things have been placed on my path that are offering me fantastic opportunities, my path has been ever changing for the better so I can grow, learn and develop YET I am constantly sabotaging myself, doubting myself, not believing I'm worthy of all this wonderfulness.
Solution - TIME TO BELIEVE, TIME TO ACCEPT THE DIRECTION AND WALK WITH IT, NOT AGAINST IT.
For a while now.......I have a tug of war happening in my heart. Although I have no desire to live in the UK and I love Australia, I ache daily to be close to my mum, step dad, sister, niece and nan, I don't express this alot as I don't want to upset the kids and we made the choice to move but it hurts so bad some days.
Solution - TIME TO CALL HOME MORE, WORK SOME EXTRA CLASSES TO PAY AN AIRFARE A YEAR TO SEE THEM MORE REGULARLY, TIME TO NOT BOTTLE IT UP.
For a while now....... I have been abusing my body, mind and therefore my spirit. Criticising every cell, playing games with my health.
Solution - TIME TO......... JUST BE
Paul's Path has been changing a little recently to become one of being more spiritually aware, which is really quite a turn around if you had known him before.
So I have been reading a few articles, listening to some downloads that Paul has and Paul and I watched a film last night called - ''AMBITION TO MEANING - Finding your life's purpose'' and it was really good.
One line stood out to me and has really landed today as I keep re-reading it...........
''just be done,
everything you need will be there for you,
just stop interfering with your own life''
I have turned myself, my situation (not just talking physical here people), my path around so many times, its time to practice everything I have learnt during those times and ..........just be.
My pledge to myself - wake up tomorrow living the positive, having (magically whilst I sleep!) released all my anger, agitation and negativity.
Here's to the fact that tomorrow is a new day, I am extremely lucky to be healthy and have all that I do. Thanks for listening.
SEE YA TOMORROW!!!! CAN'T WAIT!!