Nothing really..........just dropping by....

I dont really have one thing to write about or a focus to this post, just felt like I hadn't been here for ages so Id drop in.

Im fighting to get everything into a day, some days I dont stop, literally up at 5.15am and bed at 11pm, other days I have a bit of quiet time in the evening once the kids are in bed and the next day things are done but then I seem to waste it doing shit on my i pad or laptop............mmmm.....note to self stop wasting that time, its valuable.

The babies are growing up 7 months and 20 months now!! its starting to get interesting :o
the big kids are growing up too, 8 in a few weeks and 16 in Feb!!

I'm currently trying to decide what it is I really want to do, be involved in and experience and happened to be catching up on a few blogs and Katie over at head, heart, health has a great exercise that I'm going to sit and do tonight in my unwasted time, it might shed some light.

Anyway, that's 10 mins I didn't really have as I need to get dinner ready for my little gymnast who has just done 3 hours of training, get the boys ready for bed and then go out and do the food shopping before they shut at 9pm.

Catcha xx

Favourites

I was thinking earlier, after teaching my 3rd Bodyattack of the week last night and 2 more to go, I LOVE teaching Bodyattack and its my favourite Les Mills programme, which got me to thinking about other Favourites of mine.

Favourite workout - Bodyattack
Favourite food - Carrot Cake
Favourite clothing - PJ's or Coochies as we call them in our house
Favourite day - Sunday, its our family day
Favourite month - December, we got married in a winter wedding in the UK, Christmas either a hot one in Oz or a traditional one in the UK.
Favourite place - Bed :)
Favourite colour - Yellow

Why not copy and paste this into the comments and let me know your Fav's.

Pics of my results so far........

So its mid October and my win in the monthly Bodyblitz is online and will be in the mag released on the 13th, so I figured I may as well stick it on here too.

I am still releasing weight, although it has slowed considerably on the scales but the CM's are still coming off easily.

I was 92.1kg when I started my journey (89.8kg at the start of the 12 weeks) and I'm close to 30kg off now. So since the end of the 12 weeks I've released a further 8kgs.

Here's my before picture.........................

Here I am now.........................

Here's the link direct to the piece that will be in the mag.

http://bodyblitz.net.au/monthly-winners/sharleen-twyman/

Still trying to decide whether to run my own half marathon (see previous post) and just deciding what my next fitness related goal will be.

Have changed my training up a bit as of this week to suit the fact that Im back teaching 4 Bodyattacks in a week now.

Have a great week, Shar x

Half Marathon

So the date I wanted to run an official Half marathon has changed/moved or I got it wrong in the first place.

I was um-ing and ah-ring and just decided to do it, started looking at accommodation and then went to check the website for exact details and I must of got it wrong in the first place.

I'm a tad disappointed as there are no other options, due to heading into summer obviously they are tapering down and will re-start next March/April time.

I don't want to put it off as the training I have put in is all geared to doing it on the date I had planned, so here's my question - I DO KNOW, that it wouldn't be official but can do a official one in the future, I have a Garmin GPS, maybe I could run a 21.1km route and take a pic of my GPS to have as a record of doing it?

Thoughts?

Whats been happening........

Lots!! Here goes in list form ......

• Had Maddi go through her 3 gymnastics comps, so proud of her. At 7 to train how she trains is amazing.


• Had Bryce get to the preliminary finals and just miss out of the Grand Final.


• Both Maddi and Bryce have made it to the interschool athletics so we have those coming up to watch. Maddi in the sprints and Bryce in the 100m, 200m & Long jump.


• Finished my 12 week challenge - total losses - 20.1kg for 12 weeks (22.4kg total) / 18cm off my hips / 28cm off waist at belly button / heaps of skinfolds / lots of negative talk


• Continued on the journey which is 3weeks since finishing the challenge - to date Ive released another 4.2kg so sitting at 26.6kg total and Ive released another 2.5cm off hips.


• Continue to get back to teaching. Now teaching 3 Bodyattacks a week, 4 from next week, 2 bodybalance and return to Bodyvive on Tuesday for 1 a week.


• Been asked back to present for Les Mills again, said yes and am very excited.


• Did my CXWORX training, passed and cannot wait to teach this class, working hard on my strength at the moment though.


• Interviewed and got a GFM job that fits in well with the Family, only 5 hours per week (which is a hard gig for a GFM) and for a different company.


• Did a big programme launch for Sh'bam in to a centre, went well and they liked the new class.


• Was notified I am the November Bodyblitz winner.


• Have thrown away my clothes that are too big, don't need them anymore, you know 'just in case'. Also thrown all my maternity bras, clothing etc, no more babies here.


• Commenced my half marathon training, going OK, still undecided if we will make the trip to run it though, but will continue to do the training, decision to be made in the next few weeks.


• Have set my next phase of training out and getting excited to see the changes in my strength and fitness.


• There's probably more but hey, I'm exhausted typing that lot!! :)

Babies are well, Freddy is 19 months tomorrow and Chi is 6 months on Tuesday.

Paul is amazing as usual and has been there supporting all I do, day in day out. xx

So that's a quick run down on whats been going on, no wonder I haven't had time to blog a bit more.

Have a great weekend, Shar x

Love this and Goal check in updated

Love this track.....it's a bodybalance Twists track so have it in my mix at the moment. The lyrics are awesome, thought Id share.

All is good, great in fact, have updated my goals on the right to reflect where Im at currently.




Lyrics | Rob Thomas - Little Wonders lyrics

The time has come.........................

So Ive been participating in Bodyattack again for about 7 weeks now and team teaching Bodyattack for the last 3 weeks to ease back in.
Tonight I go solo again after a few years off from teaching Bodyattack due to having babies.


OMG! I can't wait........... but in the same breath I'm a little nervous and scared, its tough teaching the whole lot. I taught 8 of the 12 last week which included both peak tracks, I suppose when there's no-one on stage with me to buddy with it will happen......whats four extra tracks anyway!!?

BRING IT!!!!!!! See ya on the other side :)

Missions accomplished, stats so far and my boys.

So I have updated my missions for the year, adding a few more to the mix and having a look at what I have achieved so far since I planned the year, June to December.

I have completed some of my August missions but wont be crossing off until month is done.

Added in is the Half marathon training, I plan to run a Half marathon on November 5th, so with a solid bit of pavement pounding behind me now and quite a bit of weight released I will commence specific training for that this week. I can't wait, its been on my to-do list for years, as has a full marathon but I'll get the half done first me thinks :)

So my stats so far are still great, kilos are releasing consistently and my CM's and skinfolds are dropping to.

Total loss so far 19.5kg

12WC loss so far - @ 10 weeks completed 17.2kg

Hips - 17cm lost so far

Waist (Smallest)- 20.5cm lost so far

Waist (At Belly button) - 26cm so far

Fitness stats - on day one of my 12WC I tried to go for a 'run', which now looking back would have looked bloody hilarious! anyway.....This is the honest truth and at the time I was devastated, but I started out with the intention of jogging 1km, 1km, yep that's all, but, it had been a while, I had just had my 3rd and 4th bubs back to back and not only was I carrying extra weight it wasn't used to moving alot during the last bub.

So wanting to be realistic I thought 1km was doable, so off I set down the road.......I made it 0.2km !!! and I had to walk and pretty much I walked the rest, I was bright red in the face and ashamed at how out of condition I was.

So fast forward to now, 10 weeks later and I ran for 9km this morning.

My KM's per minute have dropped heaps, my heart rate is heaps lower as an average and I really have to push to get it high.

I have done my jogs/runs in all weather (and we have had some bad weather the last month or so) and I absolutely LOVE it.

At week 4 I went back to participating in classes, Bodystep first, then Bodyattack in week 6, seriously I thought I was going to die and had a major panic that I was supposed to be teaching in week 9, but with some hard work and focus (which wasn't a chore and I enjoyed it) I made it to team teaching for the last 2 weeks and will teach alone this week coming.

Teaching is way different to participating, you work WAY harder than your participants, this I can guarantee and its still a struggle to get through the class with good technique and enough energy and motivation for everyone but I will get there sooner rather than later.

I have 2 weeks left of my 12WC and will need to continue to work towards my goals for maybe another 3-4 weeks after that, then I move into unfamiliar territory in that previously I hit a goal and then it all goes pear shape (literally), but due to some extremely important motivating factors (i.e my kids, Paul, living life), some thought pattern changes I have made and regular fitness pursuits it will be a territory I will enjoy being in .

I have enjoyed the process of releasing it this time, no internal fight, no mind games, it feels as if its just meant to be the time for me to do it or maybe accepting where I was and taking responsibility for it was the change this time, whichever its all good, I am fitter and mentally clearer and that in itself helps me cope with the demands of having 4 kids, a husband, a house to run and being a Group Fitness Instructor.

Oh I forgot to mention, Ive decided to go back to work part time and have been successful in gaining a position as a Group Fitness Manager again :) its only 5 hours a week initially but that works for us and I get to do all the things I love.

Anyway, Ive rambled on enough, ill leave you with a picture of my youngest 2 babies having a bit of brotherly love under the baby gym.............

Catch up and making the change......take responsibilty

Wow, this year is just flying by!! Really I can't believe we are mid august, anyone else think the older you get the quicker it all seems to go??

So I thought it about time I got on and did an update, that’s if anyone is out there still reading....its been that long between posts!

KIDLETS
All are good. Big boy will be 16 in Feb and I freak myself out every time I think about that, so I try not too :) He;s having a great season of footy.

Princess is going to be 8 in a few months. Her gymnastic comp season starts this weekend. They had their control test last weekend (have to be tested on all moves/routine components to see if they will make the level entered into)for this weekends comp. Will be really interesting to see what a year of training 4 x a week for 3 1/2 - 4 hours at a time does, bless her she works hard week in week out and is very dedicated, the Institute of sport expect quite alot from them at such a young age, BUT she never moans, says she doesn't want to go etc so while she wants to go then we support her, she does say she will make the Olympics, so watch this space ;)

Freddy is coming up to 18 months this month, can't believe it. He is at the real cutey age, love it.

Archie will be 5 months this month and just adores Freddy, watches him run about, play etc and Freddy was even making him giggle a few weeks back.

ME
Im doing ok and returned to teaching Bodyattack last week, 4 months 1 week after having my fourth baby, I’m very proud of myself for achieving this and getting back to doing something I love.
Im coming to the end of week 9 of the 12 week challenge I set myself, so a few more weeks left to hit the fitness and weight loss targets I set myself and then continue on with both the fitness goals and the releasing the weight goals then into maintenance which is something I have yet to learn about.

I have continually yo-yo'd my whole life, whether it be by 5kg or 40kg and Im really looking forward to allowing my body to just settle, nourish my body by eating good food, eating everything in moderation and just being.

I must say it has been a relatively easy process this time. The weight is just releasing from my body and I have had no inner turmoil regarding what I can and cant eat, no fighting it.
I feel the difference this time, as I have said in a previous post, is that I accepted where I was at, took responsibility and moved on.
If you don’t truly accept where your at right in that moment you can’t take responsibility for where you are and where your going.

I stood quite a few times in front of a full length mirror, accepted that my body was holding excess fat, that my fitness was non-existent, that I was tired and poisoning myself daily. It was painful and embarrassing that I had allowed my physical form to get this way, but that is all it is, my physical form and I had the power to change this.

So I took responsibility for it, no-one else had made me stop being active or stop exercising, certain factors contributed to it but still I made the decision not to be active.
No-one else had force fed me excess, processed food, each and every time I ate I had the choice.
It was time to lose the excuses and front up, take responsibility for how I got to this place. This was hard for me, admitting that I had done this to myself was hard but until I had done this I couldn’t move forward and learn from it this time as Im never going back to not only the physical discomfort but the mental pain and turmoil that came with it.

Then came the moving on!!! :)
In the beginning it was freaking hard, daily I would catch myself in the mirror and start the negative self talk or walk to school and have to ask Maddi not to chat to me whilst we were walking up hill as I was so out of breath.
BUT day by day this happened less and if it did occur I focussed on replacing the negative with a positive.
A lot of the time my positive was ‘I have accepted, taken responsibility and now I’m making the change’ OR ‘your doing your best given your circumstances’ (a 6 week old bub and a 14 month old plus 2 bigger ones makes for interesting juggling when your trying to find time to do something for yourself!)

Next post will be more about what I have done to get to this point and the results I have seen so far as I have had a few e mails asking me what I have been doing, but I will say in advance, it aint rocket science, just hard work, trusting yourself and the belief that I am creating a WES (Wonderful Evolved/Evolving Shar – THANKS Katie).

Have a great weekend people!


BELIEVE
Believe in your heart that something wonderful is about to happen.
Love your life.
Believe in your own powers, and your own potential, and in your own innate goodness.
Wake every morning with the awe of just being alive.
Discover each day the magnificent, awesome beauty in the world.
Explore and embrace life in yourself and in everyone you see each day.
Reach within to find your own specialness.
Amaze yourself and rouse those around you to the potential of each new day.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect; this is the essence of your humanity.
Let those who love you help you.
Trust enough to be able to take.
Look with hope to the horizon of today, for today is all we truly have.
Live this day well.
Let a little sun out as well as in.
Create your own rainbows.
Be open to all your possibilities; all possibilities and Miracles.
Always believe in Miracles.

Whats happening........

I really want to get back to blogging regularly but hey, with all that I'm fitting into a day it has to be prioritized and I think its more important to feed the kids than blog ;)
So, what going on with me, well I'm definitely a mum on a mission.


I'm on a mission to not only to care for my 4 kids the best I can and of course my hubby, but I'm in the process of 'releasing' the excess weight (Thanks Shelly) and changing my thoughts that used to always tend to the negative, into trying to be proactive and positive.

So after a 4 good weeks, by good I mean finally getting my body moving and eating to a plan of better choice foods, the wheels fell off and I had about 2 weeks of eating in excess and started to feel crappy again as the foods I were choosing weren't agreeing with me in the amounts I was eating.
After a rough few days I decided to sit with it and ask my body and soul for help. I am pleased to say that I got my answer and its been another 4 weeks and the kgs are coming off without much effort at all. My energy is good, I am wanting to exercise, its not a chore that you have to do to lose weight, I'm not feeling deprived and I don't have the internal fight going on that has accompanied me most of the time when trying to release the kgs.


I had a 'moment' and its been a much more pleasurable journey since.

The main changes I have made are -
1) going back to my previous post..... accept where you are, take responsibility and move on,
2) trust yourself, get in touch with yourself and trust,
3) Believe in yourself.......really believe,
4) don't look for answers elsewhere, look within, do what you know, do what works for you.

I'm 4 weeks into my 12 week mini goal and I hope to do measurements etc this weekend to see how my new found approach (or not so new) is going.

In other news,
- we are moving this weekend,
- the school holidays start,
- I'm booked to do the new Les Mill Sh'bam training in a couple of weekends,
- the job I want to apply for is edging nearer and I am starting to prepare my application documents,
- I start teaching again in 3 and a half weeks and I can't freakin wait, Yeah yeah BODYATTACK, - I am trying to decide on a whether to do another training module but it would take a bit of work to get my strength up in 7 weeks so I have to be realistic, we'll see.
- Gymnastic comps start in 6 weeks
- babies are growing up - Freddy, not really a baby anymore :( is 16 months now and Archie is 3 1/2 months, both are amazing. Archie has been sleeping through since 8 weeks and by sleeping through I mean sleeping through, 8.30pm - 6.30am, doesn't stir, just sleeps! it makes all the difference.
- Paul is working hard and is the most amazing husband and dadda, daddy, dad (we have varying names due to age range!)
- my big boy (15) is back playing footy and seriously, it the best season he has had, amazing attitude, effort and of course natural ability, its amazing watching him on a Sunday :)

There's more but that's enough for now, here's so pics of my gorgeous babies, smallest to biggest :)

Accepting, Taking Responsibility and moving on

So the title says it all really, in relation to where I was at with my self esteem, body image, weight and fitness level.

You first have to be open to accepting where you are at. Whats the point in fighting it, it only causes more inner turmoil.
Paul has a saying that he uses a lot - 'we/you are where you are, what can we/you do to make better or improve the situation', I have been trying to adopt that.
I accept my body, my lumps and bumps, my aches and pains.
It has carried and birthed 4 beautiful children, that process alone, never mind what else we do day in day out, is such a precious & amazing thing.
Having the last two very close together put a lot of stress on my body, physical stress that I haven't felt before and emotional and mental stress too.

I then have taken responsibility for how I got to where I am. No-one stopped me from doing exercise, no-one made the choices for me or put food into my mouth.
My choices, my decisions, my responsibility.

Moving on - learn from the past, don't repeat things that cause you pain, adopt a positive outlook on every situation (this is still a work in progress for me) and try and be in the now.
Now is all we have, we have to enjoy every moment, there may not be a tomorrow.

Have a great 'Right NOW'

To the point......

Couldn't think of a post title so just thought Id get to the point :)

So my mission to get fit and healthy had been going ok for the first 4 weeks then I had a few slips with nutrition over a weekend. Had been struggling to get back to better choices but managed to string a few days together to get back on track.

I was feeling the need to work towards something or have a goal etc so when I got offered a few classes back in 8 weeks I decided now was the time to say yes, jump in and kick things into gear a bit.
I also decided I would do a 12 week challenge to lead me to my birthday and the next lot of Les Mills quarterly workshops which I cant wait to go to.

Theres no way I will achieve all I want to achieve in 12 weeks but its a realistic amount of time to get a chunk of KG's off and help me focus on pushing my fitness levels up.

I will be writing a journal of the 12 weeks so I can keep track/record of everything as I do intend on pushing hard and it will be cool to read back over the journey.
I may post a few bits in this blog too, we'll see.

In other news, Archie is 11 weeeks on Sunday! need to move to months soon as the weeks are ticking by! He is a good boy, and amazing sleeper and has just done 5 of the last 6 nights right through from 8/9pm to 6am.

Freddy is teething his incisors, his gums are red and swollen where they are pushing through so he hasn't had the best of nights recently but my gorgeous hubby has been seeing to him!

My little girl has her comp season approaching for gymnastics. It will be very interesting this year to compare to her first comps from last year, her training increased up to 4 sessions per week (3 sessions of 3 1/2 hours and 1 session of 4 hours) this year and she will go up a level.

Big boy decided he was going to play footy this year and has had 2 great games since going back, watching his game is the highlight of my week.

Apart from going back to classes I am also hoping to return to Group Fitness Management. We have a new Fitness First club opening in October so I will apply for that when applications open, it looks like it will be a great club and I would love to get the job, not holding my breath though.

So that's about it for now, Day 1 of the challenge is tomorrow :) Ill let you know how its going.

Back to blogging, getting back to it, stepping it up and another new baby

Wow that's a big title! so lets break it down...........

Back to blogging - explains itself, I have decided to blog here, in one place and wont continue the private blog (not that it really got started). I really don't care what people think and if I have something to say, a subject to post about or I want to write about my exercise and weight loss etc etc I will, my blog, my choice :)

Getting back to it - exercise and eating well that is. So bubs was 5 weeks old and I finally got my shit together with some guidance. I am feeling so much better, eating a range of food, such as lean meats, good fats and lots of salad and fruit.
I have 2 weeks under my belt and my losses have been 2.5kg and 1.2kg so far as shown on my sidebar. I have lots to lose to get to where I want to be, which is a realistic weight, but my first aim is to get back to pre preg weight.
I am loving walking outdoors with the babies, also have used my treadmill and did a jog on day one around the block by way of a mini fitness test/start point.
I have listed my 2011 missions on the right, these are all things I want to achieve or timelines to get me back to teaching Group Fitness etc.
I'm also doing a lot of work on my mindset with help from Liz.

Stepping it up - So with nearly 3 weeks of 2 x daily power walks I am ready to step it up a bit. I am planning on starting my jogging next week and cant wait. I have some other activities to incorporate and will see when I can fit them in .

Another new baby - (MUM DON'T FREAK OUT, not a human baby!!!) Just take a look at my investment, it is my new baby, I love it already and its on its way, it left America on Monday and Singapore yesterday and will arrive tomorrow......


After alot of research I went for the BOB Ironman Duallie, a proper running stroller.
I have had a Babyjogger running stroller before but didn't like the 20inch wheels, although great to run with it was just to big, so this one has all sorts of fancy features and smaller wheels at 16 inches.
I am ready to jog, I have time at home in the day with the babies so rather than try and juggle my training around Paul's hours, the gym runs, the footy runs etc I will make use of the daytime.
The boys will love it and be getting out in the fresh air, what better.

So that's my update, I'm hoping to get on a little more often, but then again I might be out jogging!! ;)

Mummy Guilt

Motherhood is amazing, no two days are the same.......hard for me the control freak, kids teach you something new everyday, they do something new everyday, When you think you got it all aorted you are thrown a curve ball, but the main thing I'm finding is that i feel guilty alot as a mum.

For example, Freddy has been quite poorly and I have taken that on board as my fault, as I write that I know it sounds stupid but still could it have been prevented? Did he get sick from going swimming in a cool pool? Did he pick it up from daycare? (probably! he goes one day a week but more than likely he will pick up all sorts) am I feeding him a good enough diet to help him stay strong? I could go on and on.

Another example......last night I was home alone with the two babies, Freddy got upset and was more than likely in a bit of pain, so I was trying to resettle him and Archie started crying, it was feed time.
I basically had to run between the two of them trying to make right for both, neither of whom understood why mummy kept running away into another room, my heart was wrenching for the other bub whom I wasnt with at that moment, I felt guilty.

When I was working And I couldn't attend some of the school events etc I felt guilty then.

Any mums out there, do you get the attack of the guilts for whatever reason?

Adapting to being mum of 4, new blog thanks and grateful in April

Hi all, so I was taking a break from blogging here but now Ive decided I have 2 blogs this one will as it says in the description more about my day to day mummy adventures and my other one, see right sidebar, is training / getting back into shape focused.

Firstly, Thanks to all those who e mailed me that wanted to read the other blog, its great to have your bloggy support :) Anyone else that wants to read, just e mail me at the address to the right.

So anyway, I'm slowly adapting to being a mum again, this time its very different for me in that theres not the big gap as is between the first 3 and Freddy and Archie are back to back.
It has been a tough week or so and Paul went back to work on Monday but actually since then I seem to have got into the swing of things and all is good so far.
Freddy is adapting well and has gone from not liking Archie crying and being a bit put out to giving him kisses and stroking gently, which is amazing for a just 1 year old that really doesn't understand what a new baby is. I must say I am glad the gap is no bigger as I wont get the jealousy or any of the behaviour changes that can sometimes come with that.

Archie is great, breastfeeding well and sleeping lots of course, he is back at birth weight already and is a very calm baby.

So with all the above said it is obvious what I'm grateful in April for, a healthy and happy family, a wonderful husband who is a wonderful dad.

Have a great day all.

If you want to read..........

.......My 'your not the boss of me' blog, Please let me know by e mail and ill invite You.

Before you decide, here's what will be going on in that blog.

- My journey in 2011 to regaining fitness to allow me to teach my fav group fitness classes, including my beloved Bodyattack.
- attempting to train for a 1/2 marathon
- other training / exercise related chat

For those not wanting to read or trying to remove themselves from 'dieting / weight loss ' maybe not for you because eventually it
will include (once I can ensure breastfeeding is established etc)
- 'weight loss' talk, numbers including exercise stats and maybe food stats,
- me dealing with / learning from whats going on in my head relating to the above areas

So if you wanna follow or be around to give feedback, in a constructive manner, then please drop me an e mail to sharleyinoz@yahoo.co.uk and when i get in there (within the week) I can send out an invite.

Hope your all having a great weekend

Introducing.................

Archie George

Baby boy arrived!

We are pleased to announce bubs arrived safe and sound Sunday 27th March at 3.32pm.
Another quick delivery and both bubs and I are doing great.
He weighed 3.2kg '/ 7lb 1oz, is feeding well and of course sleeping alot as newborns do.
He hasn't got a name yet but we are slowly getting there by process of elimination.
Pics to come :)

Wow, Im having a baby tomorrow!

Bubs hasn't made his appearance so for medical reasons I'm to be induced tomorrow!

Feels kinda weird to know its going to happen, but hey, it has allowed us to plan and prepare
And with no family here except my dad it has helped.

He will be arriving 1 week, 1 day, earlier than edd, funny as I always thought he'd be a March bub.

See ya when I'm a mum of 4!!!!!!

Having a break....

Due to a few reasons, which I am not going into, I have decided to take a break from my blogging for a bit, not sure how long but have to assess why I blog and more so why I read other blogs and what I get from them.

I might drop back in and announce new bubs arrival in the next few weeks but other than that I'll see ya when I see ya.

20 days or less and the happiest days of my life

So yep we are certainly getting to the pointy end now..........20 days to go (or less depending on the medical people) until I get to meet our new addition.

I can't explain what being pregnant, labouring and birthing means to me and I couldn't even try.

I have a scan today to check if my fluid levels have changed in anyway, obviously they are concerned with more, then I have an Ob appt tomorrow so will get a better idea of what way the end may go.

Anyway, linking into the most amazing event that I'm about to experience again, for the 4th time, I would say that the happiest (individual) days of my life that stand out so far have to be -

- Meeting and Marrying Paul

- Bryce's Birth

- Maddi's Birth

- Freddy's Birth

Obviously there are other happy days, daily happy moments etc but these for me are the 4 moments in my life so far that make me smile and feel warm and fuzzy.

What are yours?

Is there a day / event that stands out, that brings you that smile? you know the one that warms you deep inside.

Care to share....................

Thanks!!

So a big thanks to those that came and told me what they thought, so many valid points that stood out -

1) Michelle, Hilds - yep keeping up 2 blogs is not really doable especially as I want to become a bit more consistent in blogging so I can have a full record of my year of change :)

2) Shelley, Liz - I have come to the conclusion that yes I can write what I want and honesty is the best policy, so writing from the heart it is and as Shelley put it - if people don't want to read about a certain thing they can 'bugger off' :)

3) Nicole, Magda- public versus private - I hear whet your saying Magda but not having work colleagues or family (only my mum who knows me inside out anyway) reading makes it a little easier to stay public I think and Nicole, good point,yes I know I have to risk the 2 cents worth crew coming along but decided I'm a big girl now and should be able to ignore or deal with so public it stays, I also think its nicer for readers not to have to sign in all the time?

Barbera and Maryanne, thank you for your support and I would love to you continue to follow.

Ive got a feeling its going to be a bumpy ride this year, along with 4 kids, 2 under 13 months!! I have to deal with hormones post pregnancy, probable sleep deprivation, the huge desire to get my body back to a healthy state with not alot of time for exercise, 2 older kids to be mum too, be a wife and try somewhere in there to find me and time for me.
BUT 2011 will be my year and as stated in another post this blog will now be about, weight loss after 2 babies, fitness goals I have, finding a way back to doing what I love - teaching Bodyattack, alongside those things all the emotions, feelings and thoughts that go with it.

I will be using a phrase I learnt from my little girl a few years ago when she was 5/6 going on 21, I might even get the t-shirt :)
To my negative self....... negative thought patterns.............
'YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME' this year and onwards, I'm the boss, I make the choice.

Can't wait to share 2011 with you.

Come tell me what you think?

Ok, so 2011 is going to be my year.
I have lots of little goals I want to achieve both personally, in health and fitness and professionally.
All of these alongside being a mum for the 4th time.

I was going to start a new blog where I would blog about only health, fitness, weight loss goals and the whole journey about really trying to get my head right surrounding this.
Then keep my mumsie stuff, day to day stuff here on mum on a mission.

But I'm wondering, isn't what I'm embarking on this year my day to day stuff?
It will be what I do each day, how I cope with everything I'm planning etc that will be the journey.

I was tempted by the 'new blog' as I was going to make it private as I really want to let loose, be brutally honest, allow people to follow a
Real journey, can I do this on here, am I willing to let it out and not know who's reading?

So here I am, what to do -

A) Have 2 blogs and invite to the 2nd one.

B) keep it on here, go for it and be open to who may be reading

C) have 2 open blogs but it will allow me to keep it separate, not everyone want to hear about weight loss etc


so drop me a comment and let me know what you would prefer to read and how.

Part 2......

So here's PART 2, recap below and read on :)

...........So double check she did and indeed there are two things that needed attention and further checking.
1) I have borderline too much fluid, I have been told that better to have too much than not enough and that bubs is not affected by this but I haven’t been told what implications this has, I have done a few searches but will follow this one up on Wednesday.
2) I have a raised SD ratio, this is the Systolic/diastolic pressure from placenta to bubs (from how they have explained it to me) and I have a resistance of the flow between placenta to bubs, this is the more concerning one of the two so this will be monitored at a scan once a week from now on.

so from the above being found I then had to have the placenta checked and had to have an internal scan to do so.
The good news here is that the placenta has moved well away from the cervix so I can have the vaginal birth I want!!
I then find myself being referred up to the Maternal Fetal Assessment Unit (MFAU) for monitoring.
Sit on the monitor for an hour or so and its not the reactive trace they are after, they give me a sandwich and cold water and then bubs starts to play !! J
All good, sent home with a scan booked for a week and a half time along with monitoring.

Tuesday morning comes and after restless night up and down with ‘period pain’ and backache I do the morning stuff, school run etc and get back, pop Freddy down for his morning nap and go to the toilet only to find in bleeding!?
So I can’t get Paul, sit and stare at the wall for a bit, wonder what to do and decide given the circumstances – 34 weeks pregnant, a few probs discovered yesterday and bleeding not being normal unless maybe in going to go into labour, I decide to ring the hospital.
Of course, told to go in, Paul comes home and drops me to the hospital (its so hard this time, Paul cant be with me for most of the appts at the hospital now as children under 7 aren’t allowed to attend with you) to go to be checked.

They pop me on the monitor again, bubs is ok, but I'm contracting every 5 mins, I can only feel tightening's but the doctor assures me they class as contractions.
Cervix check – closed and high, good sign.
Bloods taken and scan done to check bubs is head down as I couldn’t remember from the scan the day before.

Just as I think I'm good to be told to go home and rest as Ive had no more bleeding, in come the doctor and tells me they will be admitting me as a small bleed can preceed a big bleed or labour and given I'm contracting and how fast Freddy came I am better to be at the hospital as bubs is classes as pre term.

Totally not prepared for that and then get all emotional cause I'm on my own, worried about bubs and cant not be at home I have 3 kids to look after!
Anyway so we don’t go into a part three, the contractions stopped that evening, the bleeding stopped and all was looking good.

But they kept me in until Thursday!! Still worried about the big bleed that may come and wanting me to rest.
They wanted me to continue to stay but I managed to strike a deal! J They agreed on Thursday morning that if I had a good reactive trace of bubs I could go home as long as I rest and go straight back if I got tightening's, bleeding or reduced movements.
There was no way I wanted to stay another night and wake up on Freddy’s first birthday in hospital!

So I am now on 2 x weekly ctg monitoring and 1 x week scans to check the placenta and fluid.
I went Sunday and got a good trace, so on Wednesday I have monitoring, scan then clinic.

I have lost my birth centre birth as you can’t have any risks which I do now, but having stayed in the ante Natal ward which is also the postnatal ward and will be the same middies I am feeling more positive about being in the main hospital.
I can have my vaginal birth, can still do it drug free and be discharge all being well from 6 hours after so really all that has changed are the location and middies……its all good as long as bubs is ok and we are looked after.

Paul did an amazing job whilst I was missing for 3 days and two nights! We had no planning, he had to pack a bag for me, pick up on Freddy’s routine (communicated via text) and he even did Maddi’s hair in a ponytail for school!!
I missed them all soooo much and as tough as it is being a mum and everything that comes with it, I wouldn’t change it, it’s the hardest job in the world but the most satisfying.

I am a little worried about the placenta but will know more after my appointments on Wednesday and I think worse case I will have to have more monitoring and maybe have him earlier than due date.

Part 3 to come!!

Routine Scan PART 1, New Bub Pic & Freddy Turns 1

So I have had an interesting week to say the least.

PART 1 - Monday started with the prospect of going for my scan and being told I could not deliver new bub vaginally due to my placenta still being low, which, as mentioned before is my worst scenario.

So we got there spot on 10.30am and the waiting room was full. We sat....... and sat......... and sat, an hour passed, a very uncomfortable hour, 8 months pregnant sat in a chair with people either side.....not good for the back.

Paul would need to leave at 12pm to get back to work for a 12.30pm client, so there I am willing people to be called (by this time I had worked out who was there prior to us therefore knew we still had 4 women to be seen before us) so that Paul could be in with me and not have to leave.
But as I watched the clock it was looking more and more unlikely and at 11.55 when there was still 2 to go in before us we decided for Paul to leave and head back to work.
So i sit there disappointed Paul won't get to see bubs, nor hear the news we were hoping for about the placenta.

Then unexpectedly I get called, like 4 mins after Paul had left!!! Knowing he had a little way back to the car and the hospital grounds are quite big, I hurriedly text him - 'going in, can you rush back?' whilst walking to scan room.
Anyway Paul had gotten to far so on with the scan.

The sonographers were great, apologies were given for running late (not their fault) and i explained about Paul and that he may come running back but it wasn't looking likely as he hadn't responded.
As soon as she put the screen on, I saw bubs profile and was in tears, I don't know about anyone else but the love just overwhelms you even seeing them on the screen, the lady said to me 'oh hunny, sorry your husband had to go, we'll get him a nice 'face shot', on went the 3d and she got the cute face shot I've posted here!! I can't stop looking at it.

They couldn't get to the placenta with a 'normal ' scan so decided to do other routine checks, bubs size, bubs position, fluid measurement, heart, S D ratio etc.
Whilst going through these there were two things that flagged up as not normal, I only knew this as one lady said to the other 'oh, that's a bit high, ill just double check that' so she proceeded to re-check it again and confirmed to her assistant that indeed yes it was no within normal range, then this happened again for something else and its at this point you really want a hand to squeeze yours and give you some reassurance, come back Paul!! ..........PART 2 to follow.

Yesterday was Freddy's 1st birthday!!!! He had a great day with a few pressies and lots of fuss throughout the day then the little family ( yep just us and my dad!) party in the evening with more pressies.
Of course he had a birthday cake, he hasn't had chocolate or cake before so it was interesting to watch him it his thin slice of cake, the progress of mess was also cute, here's the before, during and after pics of Freddy's first piece of cake!

Reaching for the first piece

Half way through

After

And all clean after bathtime

Happy Valentines Day, 49 days to go and the truth hurts.

Happy Valentines Day................

............ to my gorgeous hubby who is caring, loving, THE best dad, never judges me, never puts conditions on our relationship, is my best friend as well as the love of my life, who gives everything but expects nothing in return, I could go on and on......I am so blessed.

I love you

_____________________________________________

49 Days to go

So another week down and I have 49 days (7 weeks) to go.

I had my 33 Week appointment at the Family Birth Centre on Thursday and all is well. Strong regular heartbeat, BP all good and low as normal, bubs has turned head down so all good with him.

I just need to have my scan next Monday and fingers crossed my placenta has moved up away from my cervix so I can have a natural vaginal birth again and not a C-Section.

The truth hurts

I will be starting another blog relating to this, keeping it private for now and when I feel comfortable I will open up to those that want to read and follow my journey. I did have some not so good news from the Birth centre and that is my BMI has just touched the limit they put on their mums having so that they are able to birth there. I have until 38 weeks to reduce it slightly to bring it back in range.

I have no doubt that by getting my shit together and stopping the crap and extras I have been having that I will be able to do this sensibly and all will be well......BUT the truth hurts right?

I know this pregnancy hasn't been ideal, the weight gain has run away from me. I have no-one to blame but myself of course and will not make anymore excuses.

My journey to get to my 'ideal' (realistic ideal that is) weight and body shape will begin. Unfortunately it is in my quest to find 'balance' that things have gone pear shape (pardon the pun) for me, I will deal with 'balance' issue once I get there, I know what works, I know what to do, I have support and assistance so will be doing this my way.............now to actually do it!

I will be blogging about it all here but letting a few more of my innermost thoughts etc go in my new blog, so yes, this will become my 'weight loss' journey (again) so if you don't wanna read that kinda 'stuff', don't, if you wanna judge, go somewhere else, but it will be real and I guess it wont all be fun.

As I said last post, I'm going longer term, by December 1st I will be there, 2011 is mine, pics to prove it and this is it ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Have a great day xx

32 down, 8 to go, 2011 My Year?

Wow I'm 32 weeks pregnant today, only 8 to go and we all get to meet our little man, my bum belly is huge, people think I only have a few weeks to go, but bubs is on the right track, not big for dates.
Here's a pic -

My big boy is 15 tomorrow!! that scares me so much and makes me feel sooooooo old, 34 isn't old right??
Not long til Freddy's 1st birthday either, going too fast.

2011 My Year -
So my challenge to myself is coming together.............by 1st December, 1st day of summer, I will be a Slimmer Mumma for Summer :) Corney I know but you get the idea.

Ive been pregnant since May 2009 until April 2011, all except 4 months, in which time I had a newborn. So its time for me to make this year the year I get my mojo back and end it in style, feeling great, looking great and being great.

A long haul challenge, not 8 weeks, not 12 weeks, not even 6 months - 11 months to get real, meet lots of little mini goals -
- start jogging after bubs and complete a half marathon at the end of August,
- shift the excess baby weight I have gained this time
- shift plus some :)
- Return to Bodyattack first as a participant then as an instructor again, aiming for Spring roster that starts September
- be the best mum I can be to 4 children
- nourish my marriage to a simply amazing man

..............I'm sure there's more to come but you get the idea.

I'm going to record every single week here, no missing weeks or 'starting' again because they
weren't to my OLD all or nothing standards, I must admit, I am was tempted to just sit out the 8 weeks on my merry way and 'start' after I had had bubs, but the way my body is responding to the end stages of pregnancy at the moment I know I could easily have an extra 5-8kg to contend with if I don't bring a bit more regular exercise in again and choose to eat a little less and make better choices.

I few bits to organise and I'll be back with some more regular updates and find some way to log this on my blog.

Here's me and Baby Freddy, had to call him that as apparently he becomes a toddler from 12 months onwards..........as us mums know though, they are always or 'babies' :)

Nearly Feb???? and update

WTF???
Seriously I have no idea where the time goes. I used to think time passed by quickly when I had 2 kids but it is just speeding by since I had Freddy so I have no idea what will happen when this new bubba boy arrives shortly.

I have had moments of guilt associated with the fact that early on in this pregnancy I sometimes forgot I was pregnant and also this time the appointments have seemed a hassle to get to and get through, especially with bubs and kids to sort etc, luckily I have a great hubby and he has been to all of them with me, well apart from my 2 hour Glucose Tolerance Test as he was at home on Freddy duty :)

Freddy was 11 months yesterday, a few weeks and the big first birthday will be here, he's just too cute at the moment, dancing, speed crawling, standing (wobbling) like a drunk at the furniture, starting to speak proper words (yes he did do a full and proper MUMMY yesterday instead of mum-ma), communicating in cute ways like pointing at stuff or crawling to stuff.

He just adores his big brother and sister and the feeling is totally mutual, they just dote on him, it so gorgeous to see.

I am under no illusion that the new bub and Freddy being so close in age will be such hard work to start with but am so excited to see them grow up so close in age and have no doubt they will be best buddies.

It will be great to experience both having kids with a bigger age gap and also a very close age gap, we are blessed.

So other than the weeks speeding by I haven't really been up to much since we got back from the UK, speaking of which, was, apart from time with family of course a trip I am stating as a disappointment.

In short, apart from Paul, my lot were sick, I spent 3 days in bed and a few days each side of those feeling ill and then trying to get better for the flight home, then my family - my sisters kids, my nan, my step dad were all sick at different times which made things hard to co-ordinate so we didn't share different germs......ANYway, the days we did get together were of course great and I am missing my mum and step dad heaps and it doesn't seem to be getting easier.

I also had forgotten how it feels to be in a true British winter!!! I know Paul and I were feeling the shut away in a house feeling, it was too icy to walk in, to cold for Freddy to be out for any length of time and Maddi had heaps of energy to burn and nowhere to do it!!

I will never moan about an Aussie winter again that's for sure!!

In saying that I had a few pluses that came from the trip one of those being that although I would love to be closer to family (it is extremely lonely here with no family or support network) I do now feel I am 'home'.

This is the country I want to be in, the country I want to bring up my kids in and the country to build our base in................ for them and the generations to come. We are extrememly lucky to be here and Australia is an amazing country with amazing people.

I now have 9 weeks 4 days left til the ever awaited due date of bubs number 4 and as I said it has gone quickly.

I feel he will be on time maybe even a little early, given my due date the Family Birth Centre are working from is a week later than my dates date. If given the choice the midwives there take the later date so as you get the opportunity to birth there as if you are to be induced you can't birth there you have to go to the main hospital.

In saying that I had a low placenta at my 20 week ultrasound and have a 34 week scan to confirm where it is then. if it has cleared I can have my normal birth, if not I will have to have a C-Sec which in all honesty, in my opinion, is the worst thing that could happen. I have spoken with my friend Mr.Google and he reliably :) tells me 95% of those who have placenta low at 20 will be fine by 34 weeks and able to birth normally. So trying not to get worked up about it and will know in a few weeks.

In other news from Shar, I am struggling with a few areas at the moment and they are causing me or rather, I am allowing them to affect me more than needed and trying to figure a way to pick myself back up and just get on with it.

I have a very wise, calm, centered hubby who has for about the past 2 years been developing himself not only professionally but spiritually aswell and as usual he has wise words, writings for me to read and unconditional love, all of which are helping me, more than he knows.

I am working on loving me and trying to believe and see the good things others see in me, then and only then will I be able to move forward.

I'm also setting goals, both physical and emotional, that are long term, as the short term shite I have done over and over are not for me anymore, especially if I want changes to be permanent.

I am thinking I will set the end of 2011 as my re-assessment date and maybe start a diary style daily (if possible with 4 kids) blog post so I have the journey recorded and can share honestly the good and bad days............because there are days that aren't so great aren't there? and it would be kinda refreshing to read some real stuff not all the fluffy stuff that smells of roses.

Back from UK, being sick sucks, so does jet lag, 12 weeks till new bub :)

The End...........for now